| Hi! My name is Foghorn, and I'm the Senior Rubber Chicken for the most excellent Dreamweaver development team.
I know, you must be saying to yourself: "Sure, 'Senior Rubber Chicken' sounds like an impressive, powerful position, but I bet it's just a fluff job." Well, you'd be wrong! My many duties include: Engineering process management. I enforce consistency among the one-hundred-odd development engineers by acting as a physical arbitrator during source-code submission. Stress management and reduction. I promote a healthy office environment by offering myself as a tangible target for normal everyday workplace violence and tension. Team meeting facilitation. I ensure that our meetings stick to their agenda, and that everyone walks away with a set of specific action items. Here are some other Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) about me: Q: Is the Dreamweaver development team really as fast, loose, and out of control as the many movies, tell-all biographies, and celebrity interviews about them seem to indicate? A: Well, I can't say too much about that while the various legal cases are still pending, but I can tell you that our weekly expenditures for "novelty" items regularly run in the thousands of dollars. Q: What do you think of other Macromedia products? A: They rock! Buy them in bulk packages of one thousand or more! Q: In an increasingly wetware-centric virtual reality, creme-de-la-creme webmasters will become Way New Information Guerillas, appropriating and recontextualizing content and grabbing mind- and eye-share for the next millenium. Will Dreamweaver lead this glorious revolution? A: Who are you, Louis Rossetto? Q: What's the content model for `<SPAN>`? A: Processed meat, mostly. Oh, you said `<SPAN>`. Uh, I dunno, you'll have to ask Ben. He should be in around 2 am. Q: Have you been working on any special projects recently? A: Funny you should ask... I've just been featured in a photo essay entitled "Foghorn Takes Flight", and I do believe I have a future in film. Q: Did you know that the white leghorn is genetically engineered to be the perfect chicken for frying? A: Uh...next question. Q: No, you don't understand! The white leghorn! It's genetically engineered! For frying! It's perfect! A: That's really great. GUARDS! Q: Does anyone else on the team have a home page as cool as yours? A: Of course not, but you can check out their puny attempts at www.dreamcentral.com anyway. Q: Shouldn't you have a funny Southern accent? A: You must be thinking of someone else. Thanks for being the 00000001th visitor to my page! ©1997 Foghorn Studios LLC. All rights reserved. No actual chickens were harmed during the authoring of this page.